Secret Messages
#1:IOLA
#2:2FWA
#3:
#4:4ERE

ASoUE Lunchables
Part 1 of 4: August 2004

The Terrible Tongue Twisters
Twister the First
Violet vowed very vocally to vanquish the vain, vaudevillian villain or verily vanish via vehicle, vessel, vacuum, or valley.
Twister the Second
Klaus contemplated calculations concerning the cosmos and correctly connected clues by carefully counterbalancing a canoe with a crockpot.
Twister the Third
Sunny sampled stones, sticks, salt licks, softballs, soap, snowshoes, shovels and sculptures, and subsequently shocked herself by savoring soup.

The Story—

Dear Eater,
If you are interested in something entertaining to accompany your meal, you would be better off paying a trusted friend to jump up and down on your dessert. This letter contains evidence relating to Violet Baudelaire, whose life since her parents perished in a terrible fire has contained very few entertaining things, and almost no proper sweets whatsoever.

My discovery of a puddle of water suggests that Violet, the oldest Baudelaire child, invented something at the dinner party held at the Baudelaire mansion quite some time before it burnt to the ground. Crackers with meat and cheese were served, and at least two guests were disguised as desserts.

The festivities were interrupted when Sunny, an infant and the youngest Baudelaire sibling, began “teething”—a word which here means “screaming nonstop for a long period of time.” Sunny would have been among the worst victims of teething in history, due to four teeth of unusual sharpness and size growing into her mouth.

Violet—tying her hair up to keep it out of her face, and she always did when she was concentrating—devised a very cold, very hard device made from a silver pie server and the ear of the snowman ice sculpture. Violet’s invention appeared to lesson Sunny’s pain as soon as she stopped looking out the window and sucked on it.

Sunny may have stopped crying, but I am weeping uncontrollably. Please do not collect any of the other research on this topic hidden in these packages, unless you want to complete the secret message that begins with IOLA.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Thanks to GinnyRiddle and AlvinRays!